Until recently, I never thought about the root cause of my self-condemnation. The truth of the matter is that I didn’t even realize that shame/self condemnation was my issue until I started talking to my “paid ear” about my feelings. I had carried the feeling around for so long that it was just part of my fiber, almost like a pair of glasses you put on every day, or a badge. It’s just the way that I saw things, because that’s the way it had always been!
On Friday, my childhood friend and I were chatting, and I angrily stated that someone needed to feel the shame that I had been feeling. I told her that I had carried it for 30+ years, and it was their turn to carry it and feel just how I had felt. At that moment it was as if my fever had broken, a migraine had completely gone away or you just received news that changed the course of your life for the better! I felt like the guy on the Toyota commercial from years ago that jumps up and clicks his heels together. I feel like “the burden was lifted at Calvary” except I was sitting at my desk!!
OH WHAT A FEELING!!!
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